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In this post I’d like to show my own exploring of my identity through sound and vision. I put these short videos together in 2009 as an experiment, trying aesthetically express my sensibilities. Each of the three depicts a different aspect of me. As usual I am always grateful for peoples views and ideas.

Association Framework

Association Framework from Alex Crockett on Vimeo.

Water

Water from Alex Crockett on Vimeo.

Fin

FIN from Alex Crockett on Vimeo.

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A tantalizing part of experience is the noise we don’t experience; both the visual and auditory noise in the environment is immense. The environment is an almost chaos. Light, shapes and sounds; all varied and complex. It is natural to think of shapes as formed, ready made for minds to acquiesce. We see ‘a table’ or ‘chair’ or ‘face’, and that is it. From the chaos we see an ordered world. That is amazing.

Furthermore within the order we can navigate, making sense of the fauna and flora of our environments. There is a degree to which the impressionists had it right however, there is a a sense in which their paintings are closer to the reality of perception than our very own eyes. After all we are closer to light than to objects (physically speaking).

Color perception offers a simple illustration. When we see a series of different colors the colors remain constant despite variability in environmental conditions such as luminance. This is known as color constancy and this is thought to be achieved because the brain reads the ratios of difference between the wavebands of light from one surface to the next. As wavelengths vary between the surfaces we are looking at, the brain ‘reads’ the ratio differences between light from surfaces (which stays the same irrespective of light variations) allowing the colors we see to remain constant. In other words the brain computes color properties from ratios which, when we think about the brain as fleshy stuff is just amazing.

We don’t just perceive and navigate, we order the world too. How many of us, moving into a new home hang up pictures ‘where they belong’? The world is not just a thing we receive, it is something we act on and try to control. Our brains, human brains that is, are immense in their ability to both make inferences from the available data and and then structure the world according to our needs. We are the only species known to use tools to make tools. That too is amazing.

Within evolutionary theory there is a not insignificant idea that the more variable a trait is the less likely it is to have adaptive value. The argument goes that truly adaptive changes quickly loose their variability as the remaining population have acquired them, thus leaving previously adaptive traits fully absorbed by a species; they become a part of the total makeup of the species. Although the assumption has been contested the overarching principle has held as a rule.

The point is that there is a base level at which we all operate on the world with the same bodies. Each an agent coming to the world ready to make something meaningful of it with the same demands. It was Darwin who noticed that across cultures facial reactions to emotions have an invariance. To the extent that we as a species have invariant demands, we too have structured responses. In short, we see and act on a world we see that is, in part at least, not just composed of the world, but of our response to it. In as much as that is the case, the world in which we live is our construction.

For me personally, it is not just that we are conscious that is amazing, it is that we are conscious agents with a bid to our futures. We live in reciprocity with the environment in such a way that the environment serves a function in an almost Hegelian dialectic, but rather than being an historical and transcendental metphysic, the relations are immediate and physical. Rather than being governed by an end point that is teleological in some as yet unperceived way, it is itself evolving between the myriad minds that people the world, somehow finding solutions to life as it emerges. In all its detail, that is magical.

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Liv­ing day to day we some­times for­get the sig­nif­i­cance of our brain are with respect to the ideas that make up our worlds. In our brain are a con­sid­er­able num­ber of neu­rons with sig­nif­i­cantly more con­nec­tions. Odd as it may sound, there is noth­ing like the world in the brain, nor are there any clear ideas, just some gray and white mushy stuff. How your brain and my brain know a table is a table or an idea is an ideas is there­fore puzzling.

Of course as sci­ence has pro­gressed the ques­tions have been framed dif­fer­ently. The way in which the ques­tions have been framed has become and index for under­stand­ing how we relate to mean­ing in the world; under­stand­ing thought and the rela­tion­ships ideas have to each other is impor­tant if we want to under­stand how we relate to our cul­tural envi­ron­ment. Know­ing how our brains work will help us to frame our­selves in the con­cep­tual world of memes and archetypes.

A good place to start to think about our dreams. In our dreams our expe­ri­ences bear lit­tle resem­blance to the actual world. But when we dream we are as good as con­science. For all intents and pur­poses we see, move and exist in a world, albeit a dream world. The ques­tion is how? A lot of work has gone into try­ing to explain ‘how mat­ter becomes imag­i­na­tion’ (to bor­row a phrase from one of my favorite scientists).

To start to under­stand we must return to when we are awake; there is dis­tri­b­u­tion of activ­ity going on in our heads. Mem­o­ries encoded across regions of the brain are acti­vated, not just to explic­itly remem­ber some­thing, but to relate what we hear to the bank of infor­ma­tion already encoded in our brains. Those seman­tic net­works that become active rec­i­p­ro­cally influ­ence the way in which we encode the envi­ron­ment, we thus fur­ther per­ceive the world and our rela­tion to it in rela­tion to the meme­ories already banked up in our brains.

Prim­ing offers a rather good illus­tra­tion. If we are asked to study a list of words, and we are then given syl­la­bles and asked to com­plete them we are more likely to com­plete the syl­la­bles as the words that were in the list we stud­ied. On a seman­tic level, if we are ‘primed’ with a word like doc­tor, we would be more likely to think ‘nurse’ than say ‘tele­phone’, why, because they are seman­ti­cally related. Sim­i­larly, researchers have found that ‘prim­ing’ peo­ple with aggres­sively related stim­uli will get peo­ple to inter­pret oth­ers behav­ior dur­ing com­pet­i­tive games as more aggres­sive and will sim­i­larly trig­ger a more aggres­sive response than one would oth­er­wise have seen.

One other impor­tant things about sleep­ing is that when we sleep our minds have a chance to encode and rehearse infor­ma­tion that was impor­tant dur­ing the day, that is as well as process things that may have been on our minds. The same seman­tic net­works that are active dur­ing the day are active in our sleep minus the real world to order them. Of course this is a rather sim­ple account. But it’s the prin­ci­ple that’s impor­tant. The prin­ci­ple is that the world that we expe­ri­ence is related to active con­stel­la­tions of infor­ma­tion in our brains, formed by the activ­ity between neu­rons that struc­ture and encode that infor­ma­tion. That activ­ity has an impact on how we act on the world, and of course that has an impact on our expe­ri­ences, which fur­ther influ­ences the world that influ­ences us.

As human beings, as minds a sig­nif­i­cant part of that activ­ity is ideational. A sig­nif­i­cant por­tion of our expe­ri­ence is formed through ideas, con­cepts and seman­tic activ­ity. Things mean things (if I am per­mit­ted a circularity).

And that is the sig­nif­i­cance of mean­ing. The mean­ing we find in things dri­ves us. We relate to mean­ing of things. Jung in his book The Sci­ence of Mythol­ogy drew this point out (albeit psy­cho­an­a­lyt­i­cally), and if we think of the way in which we use rep­re­sen­ta­tional medi­ums, like deserted islands (Deleuze), or the sig­nif­i­cance of a Brand in the mod­ern world, we come close to under­stand­ing the sig­nif­i­cance of ideas in our lives. But they run deeper.

The con­cept of a schema is impor­tant in under­stand­ing the same point. Schema, or pat­terns that rep­re­sent some part of the world don’t come in-​​built like the abil­ity to rec­og­nize faces (or like the struc­tures that con­tain the schemata). The con­cept of the arche­type is of this form as is the con­cept of the meme. They share enough sim­i­lar­i­ties to be syn­onyms for each other. That is they are both ref­er­ents for ideas.

Com­bin­ing all of the ele­ments in this pic­ture we can begin to form an under­stand­ing of our rela­tion­ship with the world of ideas. Ideas, rep­re­sented often as objects, have sig­nif­i­cance by virtue of our rela­tion to them. The rela­tion­ship between the objects we encounter, the ideas that we form them and the ideas we get learn in soci­ety act as ref­er­ents, pro­vid­ing the envi­ron­ment with a sense of sig­nif­i­cance. That sig­nif­i­cance dri­ves our rela­tion­ship with our envi­ron­ment: press­ing for­ward en-​​mass the devel­op­ment of ideas con­tained in that envi­ron­ment shape a she­matic of ideational con­tent press­ing us with mean­ing. Thank­fully this is a par­tial pic­ture. One I hope devel­ops the impor­tance of ideas in the world as fac­tors in our rela­tion­ship with it. One that can help us bet­ter con­cep­tu­al­ize why some ideas work and some don’t as we cre­ativ­ity develop an image of the world we’re in.

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From the eyes

MyAngelRocksBackandForth.mp3

It is a wonderful life. It is a wonderful life because we can feel it. Time passes for all of us, each day to stop and reflect, each day that has passed. Never to be lived again. Because it is wonderful.

Each second is unique. Each mind experiences it’s own fragment as time moves forward through us; passing back into a horizon that we’ve passed. Friends, love, laughs, they swell into an abyss of memory, only to be mirrored by another event, itself passing. And it is wonderful. It hurts wonderfully to know that each one of these moments is an end; an end of time. And it is wonderful.

Sometimes love is so pervasive it can’t be shared. In a moment of refection, in a glance a ray of light burns through a leaf and time evaporates into a mist. Transported into the heart of another time once lived a smile crosses like it was the first, and then all of a sudden a noise and back to the ending present. and it is wonderful.

And as age correlates more and more with the passage of time the bank of imagery grows all consuming. Wistful reflection.  Why? Because life is wonderful.

It is wonderful to be alive.

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“Living for ones own pursuits, surrounded by others doing the same is not community”

Ernest Becker, The Structure of Evil

I don’t know at what age we become conscious of ourselves as agents in the world. I remember being a child passively. Things happened, and somehow, even if I was the cause of something happening I had no sense of agency. The world happened around me and I was a part of it, but I don’t remember thinking that I played any part in what was happening.

Somehow as you get older however, there’s a time, maybe a moment when that changes. As adults we not only become conscious that choices we’ve had in the past are antecedent to where we are now, we have a responsibility for the consequences. But worst of all, the harder I think the more I can draw lines dating to a time where I was still unaware of the responsibility I would feel now.

These thoughts can weigh heavily on most of us. I doubt that many of us can attest to complete satisfaction with everything in our lives. And by no means do I mean the house we live in or the job we have. Life is just a bit more than that for us. Who we are, the confidence we feel and the power that we feel we have over the future seem intrinsically linked to our past in much the same way.

For me personally it is for exactly these reasons that I value my education and the achievements I’ve made in life. Whatever can and will be taken away from me the past can never be removed. But I value even these things because I know that they are valuable, not just to me but to the people who have recognized them. As far as that is the case I am reminded that my achievements don’t always stand on their own. They also stand in relation to the people who have made me feel that they are achievement.

What am I getting at? A good question indeed.

That one can value one’s achievements is an achievement in life. There are many of us who continue to fail to recognize the value in ourselves. Worries of adequacy as ridiculous as they may be are also all to human. And that is in effect the point. Irvin Yalom once wrote the wonderfully acute observation that falling in love was akin to death. Better to stand in love with another, to stand in a relationship of partnership through life that bring each-other down with a suffocating fall. That relation of support through life I don’t think stands only for a couple, it stands for each of us and is an exquisite metaphor for the relation of support and recognition that each of us aspires to within our community. Despite my achievements, despite my personal confidence in the existence of my own humanity I seek to have that humanity seen in a community of friends. Why? Because it is in the reflection of their eyes that I can see myself.

Looking around the world it is clear that it is the reciprocity of affection, the recognition of being and substance in us all that bears significance as a species. We are born, it is true, into a world of strangers. The world and all it’s competition manages to strangle the essence of humanity through its mechanism. However, like many unanswered questions it also ought to be remembered that there are many things that we have in common as people that are more fundamental than our differences. It is in that respect that the gesture recognition is a significant force in all our endeavors.

The world as it is will continue to arm us. That is natural enough. However, when one thinks about all of the characters that have managed to unite people through conflict it is the men and women who have seen past transient and insignificant differences and found resonance across the divide who continue to inspire our values beyond cynicism and constraint. It seems to me that to aim for the same values, as unattainable as they may prove to be is a good starting place for all of us individually.

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